Christian Writers Circle

Intimacy with Christ through Forgiveness
by Judy Hitson

Matthew 6: 14-15 ESV For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Finding myself unable to relate to a person that I formerly looked forward to seeing, presented an awkward situation, not only for me, but for all who gathered for dinner at the restaurant. Her negativity disturbed me. Was her heart hardened? Can she hear God’s voice? Or is it unforgiveness in my own heart? The astounding reality hit when the Lord revealed my need to get the log out of my own eye before trying to get the speck out of hers. This process must start with forgiveness in my heart.

Though this loved one knows the Lord, the complaining and gossip made me angry. I wanted to say as a mother to a child, “Enough! No more!” Instead I didn’t want to talk. I was angry wanting to shake some sense into her that she would see her sin; missing my own.

The Lord spoke two words to me. I received them for her. It is a good thing I kept them to myself because another sister in Christ confronted me saying, “We don’t think you want to be with us.” She was right. I did not. I admitted I was having a difficult time with the complaining and gossip and didn’t want to hear it anymore. The confronter said, “The Lord showed me she is like the Israelites right now with complaining. My concern for you, Judy, is not wanting you to get bitter. I was in that state with someone. When I forgave and went to see her, I got rid of that evil spirit and never want to be in that state again.” I was thankful to hear her testimony of forgiveness and deliverance from bondage of a bitter spirit.

The Lord convicted me of my need of change. I thought I had gotten the log out of my own eye, only to discover I was in the midst of the process. It was not time to confront the woman I was angry with, knowing God prepares our heart to confront with truth in love, not anger.

The Lord also revealed that the measure I judged came back on me, Matt. 7:2, and if I was offended by a brother to go to that brother. I thought I had, but failed to see unforgiveness in my heart. In the past, the Lord blessed me to forgive from the heart after a time of bondage with tormentors in my mind. I experienced being like the unmerciful servant, Matt.18: 21-35, and never want to be in that state again. The Lord delivered me and I am grateful.

Prayer: Lord fill me with Your forgiveness in my heart towards my sister.

In the present situation, I take time to confess my sins, 1John1:9, find rest in the Lord, Matt.11:28-30; Ps. 37:7 and wait patiently to hear Him. He will instruct me and teach me in the way I should go; He will guide me with His eye, Ps. 32:8. I taste and see the Lord is good, Ps. 34:8.

The two words I heard from the Lord was first a hymn, “We shall Overcome.” The second was a word Joyce Meyer spoke in regards to the Israelites, “Complain and remain or praise and be raised.” Yes the Lord spoke those words to me and for me. Thankful for being confronted with my sin that I may be free to love and forgive. Getting angry like Moses is a trap I’ve been in before. Praise God for conviction of sin to draw close to the Lord and walk in true repentance.