Christian Writers Circle

A Vision of Intimacy

January 13, 2015

Journaling

by Cathy Weil

“For you did form my inward parts: You knit me together in my mother’s womb I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, Psalm 139 vv.13, 14.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I sanctified you. I ordained you as a prophet to the nations.”

I woke up on my birthday. The phone rang and my brother was asking me what to do about his dying wife. I talked with him for a while and with a heavy heart, I sat down to pray and journal for my suffering brother.

“Lord”, I wrote, “I’m lifting my brother up to You. Only you can help him, please, please, please”…..suddenly I’m having a vision…

–I’m seeing a heart cell beating in my mother’s womb. It is mine, but it belongs to HIM. How intimate our God is with us. I’m hearing “unconscious” for the heart cell and my mother. We are both unconscious of my existence. I see Jesus “focus with great intensity and love” as He abides with and imbeds the soul/body/mother together. I see Him smile affectionately at these few cells as if He had known me for a very long time. I hear Him say, “My baby, my love”. He has already done the math. He has orchestrated the fertilization, the computation of masses of chromosomes pairing in dominant and passive combinations to become flesh. He orders up the cell division and watches with satisfaction, His perfect plan plays out. He sees me before the earth was formed, He sees my life pass before Him, He sees me in eternity all at one time. How did I ever think that no one ever really loved or cared for me? How did I take on this “worthless” identity? The minute I was thrust into the world, the world weighed and measured me and found me wanting. I was now one of many, instead of the only one, doted on by my Creator.   I lost the intimacy of the womb, until one day when as an adult, I called out to Him in despair. He immediately came to tend to me and lovingly placed His own Spirit into my spirit and gave me a new heart. He gave me eyes to see and ears to hear. He revealed my true identity to me. I am his “baby” and His “love”. I am set apart for Him only. I now live in the womb of His love, and I am loved and cared for, so tenderly. I am free to grow into what and who I truly am. I am a daughter of the King. I am royalty. I am loved with an everlasting love by the King of kings, Lord of lords and the only True God.” What a gift I got today from the Giver of great gifts!

“Happy Birthday to me!!!”

© 2015 by Cathy Weil. All Rights Reserved